The Ballad of Rip Van Freaker

I was riding home from Woodstock
Tokin' on a spliff
When my psychedelic hippie van
Went flying over a cliff
Maybe it was the hand of God
That bent time in a wrinkle
I'd slept like a dog for forty years
A modern Rip Van Winkle
So I hitched a ride to the nearest town
To see what I had missed
And oh man what a bummer
2009 is this

TV is a picture hanging on the wall
Women dress like men
But the men don't care at all
Underwear is advertised
Where everyone can see
Gasoline is expensive
But pornography is free
Milk will give you cancer
Water is a snack
The cars are made of plastic
The president is black
The Chinese are our bankers
Ho Chi Minh's our friend
And Arlo Guthrie's a Republican

The criminals go on talking tours
While preachers go to jail
They'll take your right to own a gun
But ammo's still for sale
A hunter needs a license
But an animal can sue
With the whole world turning upside down
What's a freakin man to do
The hippie thing is all messed up
A long hair just can't win
And Arlo Guthrie's a Republican

The Russians fly our astronauts
To an international station
While the United States of America
Becomes a third world nation
Good men just can't find a job
While bad ones still get rich
Some things keep on keepin on
And Brother, that's a bitch
Designer drugs are legal
But reefer's still a sin
And Arlo Guthrie's a Republican

I wasn’t sure how it all went down
I was sure I didn’t care
We’d had it right in 69
And now we’re running scared?
I prepared to hide my love away
When a voice said, “No kid, Wait!
You can’t change their wicked ways
But you can infiltrate!”
And that was what I needed to hear
The Revolution is style
Before the next election
Put an R beside a smile
"What’s in a name?" a poet asked
When your heart comes marching in
Singing “Arlo Guthrie’s a Republican.”