Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Open Mic at The Bluebird

This article is mainly for my friends who are songwriters considering going to The Bluebird in Nashville for their Monday Open Mic Night. Open Mic Night is the opportunity to simply show up and play in a room that is arguably the Carnegie Hall of songwriter rooms. In other words you play there to play there. Songwriters don't get "discovered" or "make it" at The Bluebird. They get to play their songs to an appreciative audience. Full stop. Adjust expectations accordingly.
I've played at the Sunday Songwriters Night which is an audition-filtered event. That is a different show where songwriters who pass the audition can appear when scheduled in six month intervals and play a show with nine other writers one of whom will be the headliner and a professional. The open mic night is a "line up, sign up, get a number, go on when called". You wait in a long line outside because the seats inside are given to the paying customers who also wait in a long line for the privilege of getting a seat. Some pointers:

  • 1. The sign up time is 5:30PM prompt. At that time a fellow will come out and put people in the right group. Songwriters are in one line. Audience are in the others. It is a first come first seated and it fills up quickly. If you want a good seat, get there early. If you want to be sure you are going to perform, get there early. Some folks were lining up at 3PM. I got there at 5:35 after a short jaunt into the country side and my number was 22. Songwriters and audience were still arriving after six and were being told by security to come later but that they might not be seated.
  • 2. There is security now. That didn't used to be the case but the crowds post-Nashville series have made the Bluebird a very popular tourist destination even on a Monday night. Send Callie Khouri a note of congratulations for turning the most famous songwriter room into a Hollywood icon. The black-shirted security fellows aren't obnoxious but parking is limited and people can get upset. So they are a good thing.
  • 3. The Bluebird is a very small room. It is a converted sewing shop in a small strip mall on Hillsboro Pike. The Bluebird you see on the show Nashville is a Hollywood set and is larger than the real Bluebird. If you don't know precisely where it is you will breeze right past it as I did and I have been there multiple times. Go early, find it, then go have lunch. Get back early.
  • 4. The songwriters stand outside while the paying audience is seated. The room has been through multiple owners since Amy Kurland founded it years ago and it is now a profitable room and no one should object to that. But the comfort of the songwriters is no longer the concern it once was. This isn't to say that the staff is not gracious. If anything they are now more gracious than when I played there some years ago after it taken over by different owners. The staff is working hard and the crowds are large. The implication is don't take your entourage, family, mistresses whatever to open mic night. If you insist, make sure you get there early enough to get a seat because otherwise they are going to stand outside while you perform one song. Some of the people in the line have driven or flown hundreds of miles to be there. Let that humble you. Be courteous, professional and go solo. You can take a playing partner if you need that but leave the band at home. It is a songwriter night, not a band gig.
  • 5. You are standing in line with a lot of other songwriters and audience waiting for someone to leave so they can get a seat. This is a good time to network as they say. Take your business card. Listen. Some are sitting on the sidewalk playing songs for the others and they tend to be the young. Most of them are very young. You will hear good and bad songs, see smiling faces and brand new guitars. You may be asked to loan someone a guitar who flew in that day for this open mic or a capo for someone who forgot one. An amazing number of these people are staying at a local motel in hopes that in the time they are there they will be "discovered". Some are very intense focused people determined to be heard and make their mark. A few are locals who come regularly to play at the open mic. Some are songwriters who have come to promote their new indie album. Everyone has a story and they are worth listening to. Make friends. A fellow next to me said the last time he played the open mic it was with a young girl named Taylor Swift. In other words, while performers aren't necessarily discovered there, almost everyone who is played there. Take your best manners and listen. You never know.
  • 6. After you sign the slip of paper with your name outside, a fellow will come give you your number. If you are in the high teens or twenties, you have time to go get a meal. Remember you aren't going inside until your name is called and there is no easy access to a bathroom. Tune your guitar before you go inside (a keyboard is provided if you are a keyboard player but I didn't look at it so have no idea what it is). The reason to do this is "this is a tiny room". You will be called as the songwriter before you is going on. So one on, one waits just inside the door. It is a narrow space and the room is packed wall to wall. So best to prepare outside. It is a cold walk on. If you need to warm up, do that on the sidewalk or in your car, van, whatever.
  • 7. It is very quiet. Unlike local rooms, people don't talk or kibitz while the songwriter is singing. You get to sing one song. Plug in, tell them your name and the name of your song, then sing it, enjoy the applause (people are very nice about that), then unplug and go back outside. This isn't the time for stories, apologies and restarts. I didn't see any music stands so learn the song by memory. Pick a song you play and sing well and can do when you are terrified. You will see people go in with a swagger and come out a bit pasty. It's called adrenalin and it's healthy. Everyone is scared and if they aren't check their pulse. Do enjoy the moment because if you are there you are among those who have the confidence to be there and the people really do appreciate it. They do this every Monday and you can come back.
  • 8. Most of the songwriters are singing country songs and some of them are decidedly un-country people. They have a speaker outside that lets others hear you. The number of really awful faux country accented singers is really awful if like me you really are a southerner and not a Canadian come to show us how it is done. That's Nashville. In my opinion, fake country accents don't help but opinions vary. Mine is it's your song. Be yourself. Play the music you play best.
  • 9. You are in and out quickly. This is a performance production line because it has to be. Again, they are going to put around thirty acts in and out in a few hours and then a late show that may be say an album release party. So the clock is running. All systems are ready, the guitar cord is usually on the mic stand or on the floor at your feet. Most people sing standing and that is a good idea but if you sit as I do there are chairs. This is an "intimate room" meaning the audience is right there in your face. On the other hand the room is very dark and the lights are such that you really can't see them. They are very polite, very quiet and you will be heard. The mics are dry so if not having reverb bothers you, it will bother you. But it is a professional room, well-eq'd and the sound is warm. It is a good sound. (Hint: did you check the batteries in your axe?)
  • 10. There was a young lady giving out the directions to another room, Daisy Dukes (no kidding) that you can go to and perform after you finish at the Bluebird. I needed to get back to Huntsville so I didn't go but some of the other folks in line did. I may check it out next time when I can stay overnight.

  • Take your best song, a guitar with fresh strings and your humility. This is fun, it is good for your confidence and it is The Bluebird. It won't make you famous. It will make you better. As a songwriter AND a musician, get up every day and get better.

    A postscript: as I was leaving town, I went into a Burger King to find a bathroom and get a burger. The restaurant manager behind the counter was looking at a rap video a customer was showing him and telling him how to best market his song. This is Nashville: Wall to Wall.

    Thursday, May 07, 2015

    Forgettable

    I find myself thinking about the realities and unrealities of songwriting as a business. As a creative process, it isn't difficult but as a business it seems to be more warped these days by the industry that while saying "it's all about the song" hides the reality that it is all about the deal, the image and the trite repetition of cliches about country life or rock life or folk life or blues life that bear little resemblance to how people actually live while dumbing music itself down. Harlan Howard was the songwriter who made the famous statement that country music is "three chords and the truth".

    The music mills have the three chords part down but the truth slipped away. The brilliance of the American songbook has been steadily going down the drain of spreadsheet analyses of what will sell and how to sell it. As the desperation to be part of the market machine in hopes of wealth or fame or a good time reaches out into the C-lists of wannabe songwriters who are told how to "cooperate and network" but little about how to recognize a good song I am struck by a remark by Joni Mitchell passed on by an interviewer:

    “Somewhere after 2007, around that time, I think,” she says she heard, on the radio, a record executive “saying quite confidently, ‘We’re no longer looking for talent. We’re looking for a look and a willingness to cooperate.’ ”

    To those who claim it was ever thus, I say bullshit. There was a time when creativity combined with a deep knowledge of music counted for more and if one believes what Howard said, we have to admit that a list of Grammy wins and co-writer credits may only testify to one's willingness to accept that reality, put it over and go along for the ride. One reads blog after blog about what it takes to be "commercial" and nothing about what it means to honestly observe the world as it is and write songs one will be satisfied to sing.

    The epitaph of this generation of songwriters and songs may be a single word: "Forgettable."

    Sunday, April 26, 2015

    Is Diversity In Music An Insult to the Audience?

    It was an intriguing question after our gig last night: can this town or any other audience these days embrace groups that choose to play diverse styles and sounds or are we forced by the narrowing tastes of the loudest in the audience and the curators of local culture to play only one, to take on that image and to rise and fall with the popularity of one style? Labeling for the sake of marketing and clique formation plays a role in selling but when the market controls dominate the creative processes the results are predictable both on the product and the producers.

    The explosion of the Sixties was not fueled by one style or lit by the domination of blues, folk, so called roots music, jazz or any other single form but the fusion of them by eclectic songwriters and arrangers who understood their connections and how to create background/foreground compositions both original and enticing. Ever since that time as musicians and writers have been forced into the labeled molds, music has declined in brilliance, intensity and originality.

    The Beatles never stopped learning new things. The Beach Boys were the product of a group of jazz players who understood technique and how to fuse different styles. The hits of Glen Campbell were the outcome of the eclectic chordal and melodic reach of Jimmy Webb in defiance of the so-called Nashville Sound whose Chord Police would have strangled them had Campbell not been a member of the legendary Wrecking Crew with access to the best players in the world at that time. Yet just as post after post in social media yearns for those times and celebrates that music, the audience driven by social agendas and self-serving curators keep wrapping steel ribbons of This But Not That around the creative classes as if to say they cannot fly because to allow that is to admit wings are not common among ground walkers.

    "Where shall we go now, where shall we go
    To hear the sweet voices of liberty?
    How shall we come again come to the flaming torch
    The light that shines in our memory?
    The shattered hopes of happiness
    Are lost in foam and splinters
    Of men like wooden ships
    Broken on the reefs of contentment.
    " The Reefs of Contentment - Ground Level Sound (1991) "

    Saturday, April 25, 2015

    iDUBBY: How to Handle Trolls in Social Media

    I found this picture on the web and it captures the spirit of trolling: an ugly cuss who quite enjoys vile, who will use the politics of personal destruction early and often even when the topic is abstract and there are no personal issues in play. They collect information, twist it and then in short quick bursts piss in the punchbowl.

    I call this fellow iDUBBY to remember how one handles him. With most social media platforms such as Facebook, there is an order of operations that will get rid of iDUBBYs when they invade your space.

  • i - ignore: Ignoring them is the first operation because you need to establish if they are a troll or if someone is just getting online before they have their coffee. Everyone farts as Benjamin Franklin said and ignoring it is better than a conversation on that topic. Unless you are very funny but then you might start a round of counterfarts.
  • D - Delete: Do this because you don't want a counterfart conversation and you don't want the comment in your post. Some think it rude so don't be oversensitive either. Simply being offtopic is not really a delete offense. Guide them back to the conversation unless they persist.
  • U - Unfriend: If you establish to your satisfaction this is a troll or someone who goes personal when uncalled for or is repeatedly making things smelly, you should uninvite them to the party. Now this is the first really truly personal move you make that cannot go unnoticed. Also some people bring out the troll in you. It may be family, a friend, but the fact is something in the relationship doesn't work online for you or for them and it is best if you don't talk in public. Remember that unfriending doesn't stop them from seeing posts you make as Public posts. They can search for your name on Google and the posts will be there. They can still message you so if you want to converse one on one, it is still possible. So think of it as the good fences make good neighbors policy. It may not be personal; just smart networking.
  • B - Block: Blocking is the nuclear option. When you put someone on a block list you are stuffing them into the negative space of the social coordinates. You not only don't want to chat, you don't want messages that unfriending still permits. You don't want them to see your posts on other pages. You don't want to hear them inhale a breath. Blocking is death for the dead as the movie spook said. Use this sparingly if ever and if you find you are creating a long blocking list you may wish to take a long look at yourself in the social mirror to see if you are attracting trolls. Blocking is for exes who refuse to let go or real enemies who hate your sock collection. This is for the boss who spies on you or the co-worker who collects dirt. Sad but so, this doesn't always work because people acquire false name accounts and then whatever you post publicly is still there for them or you friend them again. A careful consistent use of the filtering options on Facebook, for example, is the best strategy for handling conversations. If you don't want it on the five o'clock news, don't say it. If it is sensitive, keep it among close friends. If you want to start the fight, go public and put up your Mortimer and Randolph.
  • B - Boot: Booting is after a block. You go through previous conversations, blogs, etc., and delete every comment, post or fart the troll or you ever made to each other. In other words you de-reference them so that search engines won't assume a relationship. It is drastic and tedious to boot someone. Sometimes the person you want to boot is you.
  • Y - Yell: Ask for help by reporting them to the site administrator. Most social apps have dialogs for doing this. Try to limit yelling for cases where a person goes so far over the line from being a troll to threats of violence, etc. Don't hesitate to do it but don't use it for punitive measures or politics. Then you will become the troll.
  • Social media implies a responsibility to preserve your own reputation even if it means shutting up. It also implies a responsibility to be smart and non-reactive. Again, sometimes the person stayed too long at the nachos and dip bowl and then failed to slip outside for a smoke before moving on to the anchovies. Best to tolerate what is not too odoriferous or move next to the band where the noise drowns out the heavy sighs.

    Sunday, April 19, 2015

    To The Guy Who Says Streaming Doesn't Hurt Musicians

    As in every part of the economic culture there is a class war between upper and lower classes. If one is at the top where the money is still good, stuff is curated and served up on platinum platters and the impact of the streaming services is felt as a lifestyle hit. The A-listers want more. They may need more but to be sure they want more.

    Some such as Percy Sledge watched their incomes evaporate not because of streaming but because Sledge's one big hit was recorded before 1972 and copyright law today makes it impossible to collect. So where Michael Bolton got the money (and Percy did not begrudge that because he liked the cover), Sledge got zilch. Nada. Before he died Percy was being taken care of by friends in Muscle Shoals who played help gigs for him. Levon Helm was hurt by streaming and piracy. Once again, the music tribe stepped in to help but it was tough and is still tough for his widow.

    The top tier is trying to organize themselves to compete and having a hard time of it because the image they projected for so long is working against them. It is simply hard to feel sorry for Madonna with her leg on the table trying to look young or a guy who walks on stage wearing a mouse head. They look spoiled and that doesn't make a good case for paying more money for their music if it can be gotten for less from legit but shady streamers. Good luck with Tidal but the zeitgeist is against it.

    In case the impact of losing record sales revenue isn't completely clear, some years ago when working on web standards I debated those who said this was a good thing for music and musicians telling them that in the future the big bands would be the old bands that made it in the seventies and that ticket prices would be $300 a seat. They said it could never happen. The following is a screen snap of an online ticket ordering form for The Eagles courtesy of Michael Buffalo Smith.

    A little depressing, eh? I underestimated by a factor of three.

    At the bottom where the overwhelming vast majority of us operate, the ones the curators refer to as "strictly second rate" and are desperate to curate away, the results are mixed. We have to produce independently, watch our pennies and so folks such as I have to scramble and burn 401ks to bury our parents. We see pirates taking our music and streaming it out of Russia, shrug and move on because we can't fight them. Our best gigs are brew pubs that will pay 75 dollars a man a night because otherwise we are working for tips.

    We can try to punch through the Nashville-We-Only-Work-With-the-Best crowd that turned Chet Atkins' Music City (a generous man) into a ten year town. We are told if we offend the wrong person at any step, we are done in that town. We are told we have to "write only with the right people" and anything we organize locally that helps locals, they send their representatives to take over. ASCAP/BMI/SESAC are johnny on the spot to collect fees even if all the songs are original and unregistered. They threaten small rooms needed to keep the beginners alive. They are the Mafia For the Labels. Reverbnation and YouTube get our music out there and whatever rate we are, we aren't curated into oblivion to satisfy the social warrior agenda of some industry maven who can't play a note but knows what he or she likes and everyone must like what they like or "it isn't good music". Meh.

    For the lower class, these are better times than ever as far as distribution but we won't get paid same as the A-listers.

    No matter what class we are in, artists are the losers. Almost all of the publicity you are reading right now about this is designed to help the major labels who are simultaneously buying up the streaming services, making deals and passing none of that to the artists while also asking for more of their touring income. Talk about gang rape; this is buggering by the bundle.

    Music is a brutal business with hands out everywhere to take money from the artists. If the top tier is feeling our pain down here, well, they at least get to moan and cry in their Escalades drinking expensive vodka and telling us we need each other. That would be nice but I'm not holding my breath. I'm selling my mom's furniture, clothes and cookware for pennies on the pound because the man at the funeral home gives us six months. Not sure what happens after that. I don't think he can return her. Whatever.

    Where money is concerned, we are not all in this together. The haves and have nots of the music business are still pretty much glaring at one another and that won't change. When they beg us to sign their petitions for new laws but can't explain how it helps anyone but the one tenth of one percent at the top, we shrug and go back to fighting each other for the brew pub gigs. As Waylon Jennings once said when criticized for his disregard of Nashville, "Man, I was just trying to survive."

    On the other hand the comp-sci industry and the dumb-asses who think they have a valid opinion in the face of the largest hijacking of cultural wealth in history are most certainly the villains in this piece because at least we are producing something and they are taking and gouging eyes out. Like all class wars at some point the peasants will put pick axes through their skulls metaphorically or otherwise. Those servers out there aren't fortresses. Right now Google, Spotify whoever are protected by the rigged laws of the US of The Big Banks and Bought Senators. But there are third world countries where such laws don't exist and where there is plenty of hungry technical talent. Imagine a sharable app that has only one job: to ping the hell out of every streaming server it can find, an app that can be hosted outside the US, and which for those who are sympathetic can be put on their machines and run in the off hours the same way the SETI app was run.

    Would I write such an app. Heck no. Even if I had the chops, it is war of money on money and anyone in the middle without the money would be phaser fodder by the time the first server goes blue screen. But as an analyst, I think it inevitable that some will. Consider the Richard Clark speech recently where he apologized and confessed the Internet and web applications are a cybercrime wet dream. There is no securing it and certain agencies who insist on putting their biggest secrets on web servers are stupidly manned. And of that, I am certain. But as the kids say, Whatever.

    At some point negotiations break down and all hell breaks loose because the greedy and smarmy fail to understand we may not be in the same classes but we are on the same Internet. And they can be hurt.

    I think the artists will still get fucked because when it gets down to it what the best of them and the rest of them care about is their art. Like Lenny Breau they aren't good at taking care of themselves and can end up at the bottom of a swimming pool strangled by persons unknown but probably their wives because they can't quit and they can't pay the bills.

    And if the streamers and schemers and curators and mental masturbaters don't get that, may the bird of paradise fly up their noses. They suck.

    Respectfully of course. We wouldn't want to offend them. :)

    Comment Policy

    If you don't sign it, I won't post it. To quote an ancient source: "All your private property is target for your enemy. And your enemy is me."