Friday, August 04, 2006

Hard Things

Some things are hard. When the time comes to make the really hard decisions, one has to admit one is never free of the bias that is mammal, human, individual, and alone. These are the decisions that build, bind, activate and destroy. And they are lonely to make.

Two bits of wisdom, one bitter, one sweet:

o When the rules aren't the same for everyone, there are no rules. There is only fear. Fear kills the mind. When the mind is gone, one is animal. To overcome the animal, overcome fear.

o When one loves one does the right thing to the last thing, and if that does not succeed, one leaves for one has failed, but there is no shame for lovc.

2 comments:

Bethany said...

How profound. Are you heartbroken by chance? It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Remember that.

len said...

Thanks. No, not heartbroken. Disappointed in someone is closer to the case. I foolishly tried to stop her from engaging in risky behavior that has consequences for a large group of people beyond her own circle of 'positive relationships'. The denials and cover ups that ensued were both pathetic and not of small consequence. The organization itself became a risk. Best to leave and let live.

Did I care about her? Yes, but caring won't break a heart. Failing to do the right thing will. Ultimately, one makes the hard decisions alone. The difference in being strong and capable of handling life's challenges is one can, does and accepts the consequences. In this case, I accept someone I cared about will hate me for the rest of my life. Magic always has consequences. No exceptions.

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